Love Your Words
“I am so boring. I sound stupid. My vocabulary is too limited. No one wants to hear my words.”
This was my old internal dialogue. Every day was a constant battle of wanting to speak up yet loathing every word that came out of my mouth. Let me tell you, it was exhausting.
In 2003, my idol was Dr. Mary Hulnick, spiritual director and head teacher of University of Santa Monica’s masters program in spiritual psychology. She was everything I wanted to be. Sharp. Sophisticated. Highly educated. Eloquent beyond belief.
One day during a class Q&A, I gathered the courage to raise my hand. “I have so much to teach,” I shared, “But I hold myself back because I judge my speech as too simple. I wish I could sound sophisticated like you. Instead, I find myself saying things like, ‘Wow, you look so sad.’”
Mary contemplated me for a long, silent moment with her deep, insightful gaze. Then she asked, “Cynthia, what did you do in your earlier career?”
“I taught preschool for ten years,” I sheepishly replied. The room of two-hundred and fifty students erupted into laughter.
Mary was beaming at me with her thousand-watt smile. “My soul’s work is to teach to the intellect at the Masters level; is it possible that you are here to reach people’s inner 2-year-old at the emotional level?”
I felt my whole body and mind saying, ‘YES!’, instantly dropping a ton of dead weight.
Tears of release rolled gently down my cheeks as she continued, “You see, the universe always gives us exactly what we need to succeed at our soul’s work.”
Her words unlocked something deep within me, something easeful that gradually opened up over the next few years. Deep down, I’d always known that it was my direct transmission of the innocence of a child that was my soul’s greatest gift to bring to the world.
I stopped comparing myself as less than others and embraced my own unique style of self-expression as divinely perfect.
I now accept myself just as I am. My words will reach whomever I am meant to reach.
Here is something for you to think about… and do share if you have a eureka moment:
Do you have racial self-acceptance of your own unique way of communicating? If not, what old self-perception do you need to shift?