Stand up, and the whole world will rise
Have you ever had to stand up to a verbal abuser?
Me in my earlier years in the face of an angry boss: “I’m so sorry, Sir, of course you are right, Sir. How clumsy of me. Please accept my apologies. It will never happen again.” Placating, people-pleasing, thoroughly cowed, acquiescent suck-up. Ugh!
Diffusing tension usually meant that I dropped having my own back.
At some point in my life, I could no longer bow and scrape at my own expense. I needed to stand the f*ck up for myself, no matter how much anger, judgment, or bullying was coming my way.
In 2015 the universe gave me the golden opportunity.
I’d temporarily left my spiritual counseling practice in LA to move to Delaware to help care for my aging stepdad who’d had a stroke. Six months later, savings account depleted, I suddenly found myself waiting tables again at an old, well-established Italian restaurant. With a patriarchal bully of an owner (I’ll call him Mr. Z).
From day one I felt like I was being tested. Would I cave and start shoe-licking? Or would I stand up?
I’d enter the kitchen to pick up food to the owner standing in front of the line screaming, “YOU IDIOT! WHAT? You not have EARS? You hear the BELL, you get the FOOD!” (Stream of blasphemous cursing)
I’d be smiling cheerfully, look him straight in the eye, “Hi Mister Z, it’s nice to see you this evening.” Then turn my back, calmly plate up my tray, “Thanks, Chef, looks great.” Then turn to find a sputtering Mr. Z blocking my path. I’d smile again, “Excuse me, Mr. Z, gotta go serve this food!” as I walked straight towards him with my tray, giving him the choice of either getting out of the way of the door or getting a chest full of steaming hot food. He wisely got out of the way.
This went on for several months, his seething rage at not being able to intimidate me growing bigger and bigger, until the fateful employee meeting.
The meeting started off fine with the owner’s adult son giving an encouraging talk. But the minute the son stepped back, Mr. Z started on a blistering tirade, “STUPID, LAZY, IMBECILES! GOOD-FOR-NOTHING!” blah blah blah.
I stood up, calmly gathered my sweater off of the back of my chair, feeling every eye in the room on me like a magnifying glass. the server next to me frantically whispering, “What are you doing?! You can’t leave yet!”
As I picked up my purse, tuning out the sound of Mr. Z’s demoralizing rant, I replied in my normal voice, “I respect myself way too much to sit here listening to this nonsense.” And I walked out of the room with Mr. Z bellowing in rage at my back.
“SITZ BACK DOWN, you IDIOT GIRL! GET BACK HERE YOU STUPID…” Blah blah blah. The sound of his screaming followed me out of the restaurant into the parking lot, where I promptly burst out laughing, a sense of inner triumph flooding me with authentic power at the way I’d backed myself.
Did I lose that job? Yes. Was it one of the best things that ever happened for me? Definitely yes.
I stood up and my world leveled up to meet me. The restaurant staff broke out into spontaneous applause when I walked through the kitchen to pick up my last paycheck. Within days of being fired, I was given a life-changing invitation to go to Denmark to teach conscious healing. Fast-forward a few years, and I’m fulfilled to overflowing doing my soul’s work of teaching, writing, and facilitating deep soul-level healing.
It was like the universe was saying to me, “Are you really ready to be a global leader?” And I was responding, “Yes, I’m ready to be a global leader.”
Stand up, and the whole world will rise to meet you.
Much Love, joy, and vibrant freedom